Bonnie Tyler's throaty rendition of Jim Steinman's vampire song is far too predictable, so to celebrate today's astronomical event across the US, nothing can quite eclipse the extraordinary heights of the theatrical German countertenor.
It's a total eclipse
It's a total eclipse of the sun
Can't come to grips with the total eclipse
Just a slip of the lips and you're done.
Nobody left to crawl out
If someone calls
We're all out
Turning in to French fries.
Let the entire cast dance
Do the dismembered blast dance
As we get atomised!
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