There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the Outlaw and Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. “Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “Only, as it's asleep. I suppose it doesn't mind.”
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it, so that if one went all the way round The One on the Left is on the Right and vice versa. “No room! No room!” They cried out when they saw Alice coming. “There's PLENTY of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
“Have some wine,” the Outlaw said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “I don't see any wine,” she remarked.
“There isn't any,” said the Outlaw.
“Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily.
“It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said the Outlaw.
“I didn't know it was YOUR table,” said Alice “It's laid for a great many more than three. Why?”
“Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
“You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with some severity. “It's very rude.”
“Walking on the Ceiling is very rude too,” said the Hatter; “but if The World Turned Upside Down we could hardly avoid it.”
“The World is Turned Upside Down,” put in the Outlaw.
“Once I Dreamt a Tree Upside Down,” said the Dormouse; seemingly without waking.
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, “What is only backwards when it's forwards?”
“Come, we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I'm glad they've begun asking riddles. – I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud.
“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said the Outlaw.
“Exactly so,” said Alice.
“Then you should say what you mean,” the Outlaw went on.
“I do,” Alice hastily replied, “at least I mean what say – that's the same thing, you know.”
“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same as 'I eat what I see’!”
“You might just as well say,” added the Outlaw, “that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like’!”
“You might as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, “that 'I breath when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breath'!”
“It IS the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, until Alice asked “is it 'backwards'?”
“What?” replied the Hatter.
“Backwards,” said Alice; “it's only 'backwards' when it's going forwards. If it were backwards it would be 'sdrawkcab'!”
The Hatter looked quite startled, “No,” he said. “But Don't Stop, would you like another clue?”
“Oh, yes please,” said Alice.
“What is only Ya Hozna,” started the Hatter, “when it's going sidewards?”
'Ya Hozna'?” said Alice, “what's 'Ya Hozna'? I've never heard of it.”
“Neither have I,” said the Outlaw.
“Nor I,” said the Hatter.
“You can't ask a riddle you don't know the answer to,” said Alice sternly. “It's very rude. You're making me feel Tipsy Dazy.”
“What day of the month is it?” asked the Hatter, turning to Alice. He had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
Alice considered a little, and then said: “The fourth.”
“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!” he added looking angrily at the March Hare. “It's time for Turning Turtle.”
“Oh crap,” said the Outlaw; “I've got a write-up to do!” He set off running for The Hall of Mirrors, calling behind: “It was the BEST butter!”
All Mixed-Up A-List Playlist:
The One on the Left is on the Right – Johnny Cash (severin)
Why? – Tracy Chapman (Suzi)
Walking on the Ceiling – Terminal Heads (carpgate)
World Turned Upside Down – Chumbawamba (Banazir Galbasi)
The World is Turned Upside Down – Maddy Prior and The Carnival Band (Banazir Galbasi)
Once I Dreamt a Tree Upside Down – Jan Garbarek Group (Nilpferd)
Sdrawkcab – Lothar and the Hand People (Shiv Sidecar)
Don't Stop – The Stone Roses (ParaMhor)
Ya Hozna – Frank Zappa (Traktor Albatrost)
Tipsy Dazy – Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers (Isabelle Forshaw)
Turning Turtle – Meryl Streep (severin)
The Hall of Mirrors – Kraftwerk (MussoliniHeadkick)
Bizarre’n’ Backwards B-List Playlist:
A Concise British Alphabet pt 2 – The Soft Machine (megadom)
El Mundo Al Revés – Amaral (Maki)
Idontwannabeyouanymore – Billie Eilish (nosuchzone)
Somebody Done Hoodooed the Hoodoo Man – Louis Jordan (Nicko)
Back to Front – The Kinks (IsabelleForshaw)
Mirror Images – Peter Hammill (Tatanka Yotanka)
Walking in the Opposite Direction – Adrian Borland (severin)
Upside Down – Fela Kuti (Nilpferd)
Living on the Ceiling – Blancmange (Shoegazer)
Upside Down – Diana Ross (Maki)
My Backwards Walk – Frightened Rabbit (Shoegazer)
A Concise British Alphabet pt 1 – The Soft Machine (megadom)
Guru’s Wildcard Pick:
Man of Contradictions – Tyla J Pallas
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations from last week's topic: Inverted world: songs about the upside down to the inside out. The next topic will launch on Thursday at 1pm UK time.
New to comment? It is quick and easy. You just need to login to Disqus once. All is explained in About/FAQs ...
Fancy a turn behind the pumps at The Song Bar? Care to choose a playlist from songs nominated and write something about it? Then feel free to contact The Song Bar here, or try the usual email address. Also please follow us social media: Song Bar Twitter, Song Bar Facebook. Song Bar YouTube. Subscribe, follow and share.