By Maki
Ah, board games – the time-honoured tradition of gathering friends and family around a table to engage in heated battles of strategy, luck, and inevitable accusations of cheating. It's where alliances are formed, rivalries are born, and friendships are put to the ultimate test. Join me on a whimsical adventure through their colourful landscape, where the stakes are low, but the laughter is high.
Our journey begins of course here at The Song Bar, a mystical establishment where the jukebox plays hits and wilfully obscure stuff from every era, and the drinks flow like the Nile during the annual flood. At The Song Bar, they've introduced a new board game called “Name That Tune – The Board Game”. The objective? Guess the song based on the obscure humming of your opponents. Spoiler alert: everyone thinks they're a musical prodigy until Maki hums the first few notes of his latest scandalous flamenco shoehorn to throw them off.
Next up, we have Scrabble – the game where you become a linguistic wizard or a desperate letter hoarder. If you've ever tried convincing your friends that “QI” is a legitimate English word and not just a bizarre Scrabble-induced fever dream, you're not alone. In the world of Scrabble, triple-word scores are the currency of champions, and a well-placed "Z" on a double letter can be the difference between victory and being banished from the realms of triple-digit scores.
Now, let's take a trip to the intellectual battleground of chess. Nothing says "I'm an erudite strategist" quite like moving a tiny horse-shaped piece in an L-shaped pattern. But beware, for in the world of chess, pawns rise, kings fall, and castles occasionally suffer from existential crises about their lack of mobility.
Dominoes, the game of falling tiles and cascading laughter, is our next stop. It's a game where setting up an impressive line of dominos can lead to cheers, while accidentally knocking them over prematurely will make you the target of faux outrage. It's a delicate dance of balance and finger dexterity, with the added bonus of occasionally yelling “Domino effect!” just for the sheer joy of it.
Onward to the wild world of The Beatles’ board game, “Flip Your Wig”. In this whimsical journey, players must choose which of the Fabs they want to be and navigate the turbulent waters of the 1960s music scene, avoiding screaming fans, dodging paparazzi, and attempting to keep their wigs securely fastened whilst searching for their own publicity stills, autographs, instruments and hit records. It's a game where everyone's a rockstar, and the only thing more unpredictable than the music industry is the roll of the dice.
Time to solve a murder mystery with Cluedo, the game where every accusation is delivered with the gravitas of a Shakespearean soliloquy. Professor Plum in the library with the candlestick? More like Uncle Bob in the living room with the excuses for why he's not the killer. Cluedo is the perfect game for honing your detective skills, or at the very least, your ability to come up with creative alibis.
Murder on the dancefloor - or the library? Cluedo
Slithering into the scene is the classic Snakes & Ladders – the original game of highs and lows. It's a rollercoaster of emotions where climbing a ladder feels like conquering Everest, only to be swiftly brought back to reality by the hissing descent of a snake. Life lessons learned: Expect the unexpected, and never trust a snake.
But what about the mystical realms of the Ouija board? Gather round, brave souls, as we embark on a journey to commune with the spirits. Or, you know, to see who among your friends has the best ghostly impression. "Is there anybody out there?" you ask, as the planchette suspiciously moves towards the person who's been practicing their spooky voice all week.
Yahtzee, the game that transforms your dining table into a high-stakes casino, is our next destination. Shake those dice, cross your fingers, and pray to the gaming gods for a straight or, dare I say it, a Yahtzee! It's a game of probability, luck, and the occasional triumphant victory dance.
Venturing into the realm of settlers and resource management, we encounter The Settlers of Catan. Here, the pastoral landscapes are filled with hexagonal tiles, sheep, wheat, and the occasional heated negotiation for that coveted ore card. Victory goes to the player who can build the longest road, the largest army, or, failing that, the most convincing argument for why they deserve to win.
Empire building: Settlers of Catan
In the ancient world of Mahjong, the clattering of tiles echoes through the ages. It's a game of strategy, skill, and the ability to remember which tile is which. If you've ever felt a mix of triumph and confusion after declaring "Mahjong!" then congratulations, you're officially part of the club.
Last but not least, we reach the timeless classic – Draughts (or Checkers for our American friends). It's a game where simple black and white pieces engage in a dance of strategic manoeuvres, jumping over opponents and claiming victory one square at a time. And yes, the double-jump is the ultimate power move that leaves your opponent questioning the very fabric of reality.
So there you have it – a whimsical journey through the diverse and entertaining world of board games. Whether you're a word wizard, a strategic mastermind, or just someone who enjoys the sound of falling dominos, there's a game for everyone. So, gather your friends, roll the dice, and may your victories be sweet and your defeats accompanied by uproarious laughter. After all, in the world of board games, it's not just about winning – it's about having a fucking good time.
The A-Game A-List Playlist:
High Llamas – Three Point Scrabble
Wu-Tang Clan – Da Mystery of Chessboxin’
Syd Barrett – Dominoes
Junior Jein – El Dominó
Hüsker Dü – Flip Your Wig
King Creosote – You’ve No Clue Do You
The Free Design – Kije’s Ouija
Cadillac Jones – Yahtzee Champ
The Axis of Awesome – Settlers of Catan
Long-Ge – Playing Mahjong
Joss Stone – Snakes and Ladders
Hayes Carll – Naked Checkers
Backgammon and Beyond B-List Playlist:
Urge Overkill – Monopoly
REM – Man on the Moon
Let’s Eat Grandma – Snakes and Ladders
Amigo the Devil – Murder at the Bingo Hall
Half Man Half Biscuit – Bad Losers on Yahoo! Chess
Gnom – Sjakk
Laurie Anderson – The Ouija Board
Pete Wylie & The Mighty WAH! – The Checkmate Syndrome
Ariana Grande, Victoria Monét – Monopoly
Young Killer – Draughts Game
Bob Dylan – Only a Pawn in Their Game
Procul Harum – Backgammon
Guru’s Wildcard Pick:
Shoehorning a reference to stalemate in the chorus! Tough Topic this week - well played everyone.
Joaquín Sabina – Me Pido Primer
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations in response to last week's topic: It's your move: songs about board games. The next topic will launch on Thursday at around 1pm UK time.
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