By Captain Marconius
Arrrrhhh! Avast ye swabs! Pay heed to yer captain. We be approaching dangerous waters, mateys. The scurvy dogs of the Admiralty be lyin’ in wait to scuttle our ship. To send us all down to Davy Jones’ locker. Or worse, to fetch us back to dance the hempen jig. Shiver me timbers, ye seadogs!
But there be more. Whirlpools, maelstroms, fierce tides, narrow straits where the winds blow mighty and the seas arise in fury. There be krakens and sharks in these here waters. And there be the sirenes! Their sweet songs beguile and lure you to certain death. Stop yer ears should ye see one.
You! You up there in yon crow’s nest! Keep yer eyes peeled for any and all of these dangers. Hail us with warning. We’ll keep the Jolly Roger flying, me hearties. But be on good vigil!
We be singing and humming our favourite shanties, madrigals and other folderol to keep our spirits up and to remind us of yon dangers. Yer captain’s custom is to keep our songlist in some semblance of order but these tempest tossed seas had me drop them where they landed like so much flotsam on the deck. So there be no rhyme nor reason to their order. But sing heartily lads. There be danger afoot and ye songs will keep our spirits high and our vigilance mighty!
We be modern pirates so the songs be on yon contraption. It be called ye digeetall player. But jesting aside, lads, the seas hold tales of real sorrow and peril, and our songs tonight speak of them.
Our first tune be Sweet Bird of Truth by ye troupe known as The The. The what, ye say? The The. It be about the deadliest scourge of the seas, naval vessels at war. In the Persian Gulf. It be timely, mateys. We dare not venture into those troubled waters.
Ye Bee Gees sing about an old salt marooned on an iceberg after his ship be sent to the bottom in a maelstrom. Somewhere near Odessa on the Black Sea.
We have David King Bolger playing a mournful tune about the famed Shackleton expedition exploring the South Pole and caught up in the Weddell Sea Pack Ice. I wish such a dreadful fate on no man.
Now we have the aptly named Tragically Hip bemoaning a Nautical Disaster off the coast of France. He escaped in a lifeboat that held but ten in a sea of hundreds flailing men and the horrific sound of “those fingernails scratching on my hull” still haunt.
Who can but remember the tales of the Bermuda Triangle? We’re fortunate to be no where near, but the minstrels known as Fleetwood Mac tell the story.
It was in 1940 that Britain’s mightiest warship the Hood went down, sunk by the German terror of the seas, the Bismarck and its consort the Prinz Eugen in The Battle of Denmark Strait. The troubadours are Beatnik Turtle.
Arrrhhh! Ye know of the dangers Around the Wild Cape Horn, mateys. Heed the warning from Ralph McTell. But Ralph knows what we well know as pirates, lads. “If you want to love your life, you have to flirt with death.”
Spanish guitarist Paco de Lucia picks a tune about the waters of the Strait of Gibraltar, Entre Dos Aguas, between the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic.
But heed now the warning of Brand New. In Play Crack the Sky they tell of one of the most fearsome dangers of the vast ocean, an anomaly among waves. “They call them rogues. They travel fast and alone. One hundred foot faces.”
I warned ye earlier of the Sirenes. Here they be captured in song. Better than being captured by them. Mick Harvey and Amanda Acevedo sing of these seductive enchantresses in Song of the Siren. Stuff your ears lest ye hear their fateful tune. “Sail to me! Sail to me, let me enfold you! Here I am. Here I am. Waiting to hold you.”
In the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou? Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss and Emmylou Harris are the singing voices of the Sirens in the film. They lull the men into a deep slumber with liquor and a lullaby, Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby (Siren Song). Ye can watch it on yon video screen. But not you in the crow’s nest! Keep your vigil.
Canadian folk maestro Stan Rogers who died too soon at just 33, sings of the sinking of the collier Nightingale. The lifeboat held eighteen but there were nineteen men. When the foundering wreck was found five hours off Bermuda, “The Captain, drowned, was tangled in the mizzen-chains smiling bravely beneath the sea.” No doubt remembering The Flowers of Bermuda.
Speaking of Canada, The Bay of Fundy has some of the most dangerous tidal bores in the world. The Unthanks tell of these hazardous waters.
Fundy out: The unusual rock formations at The Bay of Fundy with tide out on a calm day. But this hazard place, has seen many a shipwreck …
Once again we come to a song of man’s inhumanity to man. Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson tell of the dangers of trying to cross the Rio Grande river as a refugee seeking a better life in America. But the lure of liberty is an ephemeral one when the border patrols regard you as an Alien (Hold On To Your Dream). “Hiding in the shadows, so scared that you want to scream. But you dare not make a sound if you want to hold on to your dreams.”
From Australia The Albany Shantymen sing, of course, about the Seas of Albany. It’s a tale of a convict sentenced to be exiled to a prison near Albany in Western Australia. Life is harsh. “And for 10 long years I felt the lash. Hard labor it was for me.” But now he is a free man. Life is still harsh as a whaler, “I stood agasp at a raging wretched sea. It beat like a drum ‘gainst the ship’s old hull in the Seas of Albany.” And “I sank down to me watery grave where the fishes come to feed.” But he died a free man.
Neil Gaiman, the renowned author of fantastic tales, along with the FourPlay String Quartet, tell of The Wreckers in this spoken-word piece with accompaniment. The wreckers are malevolent dogs who “would light their lamps to lure the ships ashore.” Sirens? Mermaids? Fearsome whatever they are.
How fast can you swim, me hearties? Lest we go down in shark laden waters, it be best to keep yer wits about ye. eh? Those minstrels known as Morphine give good advice should we go down and meet up with Sharks. “Don't let your fingers dangle in the water,” say they. And should ye actually be dumped in the murky depths, “Swim for the shores just as fast as your able. Swim like a motherfucker, swim!” Good advice indeed!
Fisherman’s Friends are not only good for a bad cough. This band of seamen pray you beware of The Mermaid. She be a harbinger of doom. “Three times around spun our gallant ship and we sank to the bottom of the sea.”
The Finnish quartet Panssarijuna sing a tale of tragedy. The ferry Estonia went down in the Baltic with 989 souls aboard. Only 138 survived.
And so, me hearties, we close our tales of tragedy and warning with The Correyvreckan Calling. In the Strait of Corryvreckan is a narrow passage off Scotland where the underwater features cause the third largest whirlpool in the world during flood tide. The waves rise 30 feet and the roar can be heard ten miles away. The very name is from the Gaelic for cauldron of the speckled seas. The McCalmans tell us the tale.
The turbulent waters almost denied the world the genius of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eight-Four. Taking a break from writing, Orwell vacationed on the isle of Jura in August 1947. He misread the tide tables and on a boating trip he came close to the maelstrom. The outboard motor was sheared from the small boat and Orwell, two companions and his three year old son had to row for their lives. The small boat capsized as they neared a rocky outcrop two miles from shore. They set a fire and were rescued by a passing lobsterman.
The sea and its mysteries, its hazards and legends make a jolly good source for songs of danger, derring do and myths.
And yet, me hearties, not a single pirate song made the A‑list. A grave injustice to this old sea‑dog, but I’ll not hold it against ye… much. But there be one or two songs about our dastardly deeds in the other lists. Arrrrhhh!
Aqueously Adventurous A-List Playlist:
1. Sweet Bird of Truth - The The (Nilpferd)
2. Odessa (City on the Black Sea) - The Bee Gees (ShivSidecar)
3. Weddell Sea Pack Ice - David King Bolger (BanazirGalbasi)
4. Nautical Disaster - Tragically Hip (AltraEgo)
5. Bermuda Triangle - Fleetwood Mac (Nicko)
6. The Battle of Denmark Strait - Beatnik Turtle (BanazirGalbasi)
7. Around the Wild Cape Horn - Ralph McTell (Naguchi)
8. Entre Dos Aguas - Paco de Lucía (Maki)
9. Play Crack the Sky - Brand New (Naguchi)
10. Song to the Siren - Mick Harvey & Amanda Acevedo (Nicko)
11. Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby (Siren Song) - Gillian Welch, Alison Krauss and Emmylou Harris (Nicko)
12. The Flowers of Bermuda - Stan Rogers (Naguchi)
13. The Bay of Fundy - The Unthanks (Naguchi)
14. Alien (Hold On To Your Dream) - Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson (pejepeine)
15. Seas of Albany - Albany Shantymen (Nicko)
16. The Wreckers - Neil Gaiman & The FourPlay String Quartet (Nicko)
17. Sharks - Morphine (Uncleben)
18. The Mermaid - Fisherman's Friends (Naguchi)
19. Estonia - Panssarijuna (DiscoMonster)
20. The Correyvreckan Calling - The McCalmans (TatankaYotanka)
Briny and Blustery B-List Playlist:
1. Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police (BanazirGalbasi)
2. Around Cape Horn - Corrie Folk Trio (TarquinSpodd)
3. Beyond the Reef - Alfred Apaka (TarquinSpodd)
4. Waiting for the Siren's Call - New Order (TarquinSpodd)
5. Rock of Gibralter - Nick Cave (ParaMhor)
6. Riptide - Vance Joy (AltraEgo)
7. Running Bear - Johnny Preston (ParaMhor)
8. Mingulay Boat Song - Long Johns (Naguchi)
9. High Barbaree - Lionel Long (Nicko)
10. Bound for South Australia - The Kilkennys (Nicko)
11. Night to Remember - Alan Avon & The Toyshop (ShivSidecar)
12. Orinoco Flow - Enya (happyclapper)
13. Descent into the Maestrom - Radio Birdman (Uncleben)
14. Island of Sirens - The Simpsons (Nicko)
15. Wreck - Gentle Giant (Uncleben)
16. The Cliffs of Baccalieu - Bristol's Hope (Naguchi)
17. Tidal Wave - Frankie Paul (Uncleben)
18. Sinking Ship - Cedric Myton & the Congos (Nicko)
19. God Moves on the Water - Blind Willie Johnson (Nicko)
20. Shipwreck - The Saints (Nicko)
21. When the Tide Rolls In - Amelia Coburn (Maki)
22. Palinarus - Peter Hammill (TatankaYotanka)
23. Tidal Wave - Gorky's Zygotic Mynci (happyclapper)
C-List Wave of Instrumentals:
1. Gibralter - Freddie Hubbard (pejepeine)
2. Second Attack - Henry Jackson (Loud Atlas)
3. Sirena - Dirty Three (Nicko)
4. Ramsey Sound - Inlay (Uncleben)
5. Cook Strait Crossing - Laura Estees (Naguchi)
6. Danger Reef - Sven Libaek (Nicko)
7. Gibralter - Weather Report (BanazirGalbasi)
Guru’s Wild Water Picks:
1. Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne
2. Ripple Rock - The Evaporators
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations in response to last week's topic: Dire straits: songs about strategic and dangerous waters. The next topic will launch on Thursday after 1pm UK time.
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