It’s a rare, slang noun could that easily describe the speeches of several prominent politicians – meaningless activity just for show, deceptive nonsense and bluff. But how might it show up in song lyrics?
The word itself, wonderfully colourful and evocative, is not, like many of the rare examples in this section, sourced from the 17th or 18th century, but has origins in the 1930s as a piece of American slang. The first known example came from the pen of journalist and short-story author Damon Runyon (1880–1946). He had something of a talent for fast-talking riddle language, and this made-word, whether created by Runyon or from another unknown source from which he borrowed, was perhaps created to mimic Latin.
Runyon is best known for having written the stories that inspired the hit musical Guys and Dolls – The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown and Blood Pressure, as well as some of the characters coming from his story Pick The Winner. He also coined the term Hooray Henry, an outgoing, overbearing upper-class young man. But ackamarackus first appeared in his story The Lemon Drop Kid. Here’s a passage where it appears to get a flavour of the language.
Now of course The Lemon Drop Kid knows who Rarus P. Griggsby is, and under ordinary circumstances The Lemon Drop Kid will not think of speaking to such a character, but afterwards he explains that he is feeling so despondent that he addresses Rarus P. Griggsby just to show he does not care what happens. And under ordinary circumstances, the chances are Rarus P. Griggsby will start hollering for the gendarmes if a stranger has the gall to speak to him, but there is so much sympathy in The Lemon Drop Kid's voice and eyes, that Rarus P. Griggsby seems to be taken by surprise, and he answers like this:
'Arthritis,' Rarus P. Griggsby says. 'In my knees,' he says. 'I am not able to walk a step in three years.'
'Why,' The Lemon Drop Kid says, 'I am greatly distressed to hear this. I know just how you feel, because I am troubled from infancy with this same disease.'
Now of course this is strictly the old ackamarackus, as The Lemon Drop Kid cannot even spell arthritis, let alone have it, but he makes the above statement just by way of conversation; and furthermore he goes on to state as follows:
'In fact,' The Lemon Drop Kid says, 'I suffer so I can scarcely think, but one day I find a little remedy that fixes me up as right as rain, and I now have no trouble whatsoever.’
This story was also turned into a 1951 film starring Bob Hope, who played the ducking, diving bookie, himself full of the old ackamarakas as he persuades a beautiful woman to change a bet on a horse, only to find after it loses, she put the money down on behalf of her mobster boyfriend.
There are plenty of other words out there for ackamarakas, and its meaning has inspired some many other colourful examples from balderdash to boloney, poppycock, bunkum, trumpery, piffle, pishposh, chickenshit, flimflam, drivel, malarkey, crapola, hogwash, flapdoodle, blatherskite, codswallop, folderol, twaddle, quisquilious and flumadiddle.
It’s the kind of stuff Boris Johnson and Donald Trump speak constantly, whether it is the former waffling on British spirit and lying continually, or the latter suggesting people drink bleach to fight Covid-19 or bullshitting about everything under the sun as part of a constant narcissistic self-aggrandisement.
But let’s escape politics, and get some of this kind of thing, done far more cleverly in song. There’s a severe shortage off actual ackamarakas in lyrics, but plenty of its equivalents, either used or exemplified. Ackamarackas comes in many forms, but one of the biggest forms is deception in love. Nat King Cole consoles a friend falling for flirtatious flimflam in Welcome to the Club:
Oh, do I hear you saying you got hurt?
Did you say that she's a flimflam flirt?
Are you saying that some
Double-dealing doll went and did you dirt?
Well, bub, welcome, welcome, welcome to the club
Now you know the feeling when you're stung
Now you know why Torchy songs are sung
So you stumbled down the ladder of love to the bottom rung
Well, bub, welcome, welcome, welcome to the club.
The Velvelettes sang the 1964 Motown classic written by Norman Whitfield, William "Mickey" Stevenson, and Edward Holland, He Was Really Saying Something, itself an ironic title because all he was really saying was “Bop bop soo-be-do-wa”.
He was really sayin' somethin'
Really sayin' somethin'
(Bop bop soo-be-do-wa)
(Bop bop soo-be-do-wa)
John Lennon was a fabulous wind-up merchant. His lyrics for the the Beatles’ I Am The Walrus spins some incredibly vivid images, but were really just marvellous meaningless nonsense.
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down …
Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob …
Meanwhile here’s British postpunk band Wire. Their song Kidney Bingos takes the abstraction even further:
Natural splits sunburn jets price marks smart bets
Strikers luck pitch backs heap tips pit slacks
Dressed pints demon shrinks bread drunk dead drinks
Stretch clubs models box draw skin black shocks
Money spines paper lung kidney bingos organ fun
Flag stunt rock stone dole axe crash dive
Breathe thrift take speed double take weekends
Skull row drugs hall colour bars sex calls
Sparkle finds rented rings pretty things clipped wings
Gold street spy fleet scandal food poor treat
Fire run club gun rule mob burn some
Bomb time pop crime stock frame steady climb
Fresh name donor game fair meat all the same
More fantastic music now, laced with clever and utter balderdash lyrics in Talking Heads’ I Zimbra:
Gadji beri bimba clandridi
Lauli lonni cadori gadjam
A bim beri glassala glandride
E glassala tuffm I zimbra
Bim blassa galassasa zimbrabim
Blassa glallassasa zimbrabim
A bim beri glassala grandrid
E glassala tuffm I zimbra
Beck is also very skilled with slick, ear-catching poppycock, as shown at the beginning of his mid-90s hit Loser:
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
And there are many more besides. Care to add some suggestions? In terms of aquamarackus itself, there’s is however an equivalent translated word alongside the title of a song by Russia’s heavy rock band, Republic of Mars:
So then, any more ackamarackus in your own musical armoury? Please feel free to share any further examples in songs, instrumentals, on albums, film, art or other contexts in comments below.
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