By Uncleben
Thank you for a stream of inspired nominations for this topic. Our A-list takes us on a journey from the sublimely ridiculous to the ridiculously sublime - and along the way we ask our fêted duos or couples how they met and how they feel about being memorialised through music.
Hiawatha and Minnehaha
Hiawatha: I’d love to have met the delightful Minnehaha, but I’m sorry to say she was entirely a figment of the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s imagination.
Minnehaha: Hiawatha, on the other hand, was an actual Native American leader. I wish I could really have taken him to that silver stream and whispered those words that made him shudder inside.
Hiawatha: Me too! Especially if accompanied by the Sweet’s trademark glam-rock stomp. All together now - wig-wam bam, gonna make you my man, wam bam bam, gonna get you if I can!
Cath Carroll and Santiago Durango
Cath: Why did you have to go and pick us for your stupid list? I mean neither Santiago or I are exactly famous. OK, he was in Big Black, but he’s an attorney now - and we divorced years ago.
Santiago: We met when Big Black toured the UK. Cath used to write a fanzine that slated most of the music it featured. She sang in the Glass Animals, who were banned from Manchester’s Haçienda club for throwing raw meat around the cloakrooms, and then in a group called Miaow. There was just something about her.
Cath: I turned down Unrest’s offer to open for them in Chicago. I’ve got nothing against wildly hedonistic indie garage pop with jangly guitars, but it’s baffling and slightly weird that they wrote a song about us.
Orville and Wilbur Wright
Wilbur: I met Orv in 1871 when I was 4 years old and he became my new baby brother. He soon became the chief troublemaker in our family.
Orville: When I was 7 or 8, our father brought home a toy helicopter made of paper, bamboo, cork and a rubber band. When it broke, Will and I built our own. The rest became history.
Wilbur: We’re not sure Wednesday Campanella have grasped the finer biographical or aeronautical details of that history, but Orv and I have been happily throwing our moves to their banging electro J-pop.
Yes …
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Holmes: I was looking for someone to share rent on my rooms in Baker Street. A mutual friend introduced us. It was only after moving in that Watson discovered I was a consulting detective.
Watson: This Spirits of Rhythm ditty is quite delicious, Holmes. Nourishing, one might even say.
Holmes: Or alimentary, my dear Watson!
Queenie McKenzie and Rover Thomas
Queenie: We met when I was working as a cook on the Texas Downs cattle station. Rover was a stockman. He got kicked in the head by his horse one day and nearly scalped.
Rover: Queenie sewed me up with a boiled needle and thread - good as any doctor. We were friends ever after. Later on, I showed her how to paint.
Queenie: We want our spirits to live on in the colours and natural forms of our ancestral lands, but we’re happy too for Paul Kelly to tell our story.
Hansel and Gretel
Hansel: It wasn’t exactly an idyllic childhood. Our wicked step-mother claimed we ate too much food. She persuaded our weak-willed father to leave us in the woods to fend for ourselves.
Gretel: This was before Childline. Abandoning children in forests wasn’t uncommon in medieval Europe - famine and lack of birth control didn’t help. Gingerbread houses and cannibalistic witches, not so common.
Hansel: We were translated into Portuguese as João and Maria. Chico Buarque took our story and turned it into a rather beautiful grown-up fairy tale about lost childhood love.
Daisy and Violet Hilton
Daisy: Violet and I were joined at birth, fused at the pelvis. Our unmarried mother worked in a pub whose landlady, seeing our obvious commercial potential, proceeded to buy, enslave and exhibit us.
Violet: This was before Childline. She and her husband took every penny of the money we earned from touring the world in sideshow.
Daisy: But at least Bill Russell and Henry Krieger got to write a Broadway musical about us. “We’re an unusual duo, don’t always swim with the tide. But who needs a boat? I’m always afloat when I’m by your side.”
Jack and Jill
Jack: We first climbed that bloody hill some time in the 18th century. The plot, such as it is, hasn’t changed much over the years, but some songwriters have enjoyed giving it a new twist.
Jill: Those things the Gap Band said about us were utterly scurrilous, though.
Jack: Yeah, Raydio’s smooth and sumptuous re-telling is more on the money.
Steve McGarrett & Danny “Danno” Williams
Steve: I recruited Danno to help me run the state police force in Hawaii Five-O. It was the start of a great bromance. Turned out to be a whole lotta organised crime and international espionage in Hawaii.
Danny: Hey, Steve, have you heard Aussie band Radio Birdman? They do a fine line in surf punk and a decent tribute to our iconic theme tune. I think we should hire them for our next office party.
Steve: Book ’em, Danno!
Cain and Abel
Abel: Adam ‘knew’ Eve (the Old Testament authors were coy about these things) and conceived my brother Cain, who became a farmer. Career opportunities were limited with a world population of 3.
Cain: Abel followed soon after and became a shepherd. I got a tad jealous when God favoured one of Abel’s sacrifices over mine. Darned carnivores can be so dismissive of vegetarian food.
Abel: We’ll let Louis Armstrong pick up the story from there. Fratricide with a swing!
Peter Pan and Wendy
Peter: I lost my shadow while eavesdropping on the bedtime story that Mrs Darling was reading to her children. Wendy helped me sew it back on and I invited her to Neverland to be a mother to my gang.
Wendy: Turns out he wanted a mother figure for himself, though. The marvellous Veda Hille composed the songs for a musical all about us, written by Niall McNeil and Marcus Youssef.
Peter: And performed with verve and charm by a Vancouver community theatre company who know how to stay young while growing up.
Tristan and Isolde
Tristan: My uncle, King Mark of Cornwall, asked me to to bring the fair princess Isolde back from Ireland to marry him. During the journey, we swallowed a magic love potion, with unfortunate consequences.
Isolde: Would never have happened if King Mark had come to collect me himself. The ensuing love triangle is just perfect for opera, though, particularly in the hands of Richard Wagner.
Tristan: And good luck to nominator barbryn, who is playing the Prelude with the Worthing Philharmonic Orchestra in their summer concert next month!
Los dos Amigos A-list Playlist:
The Sweet - Wig-Wam Bam
Unrest - Cath Carroll
Wednesday Campanella - The Wright Brothers
The Spirits of Rhythm - Dr. Watson and Mr. Holmes
Paul Kelly - The Ballad of Queenie and Rover
Chico Buarque & Nara Leão - João e Maria
Bill Russell & Henry Krieger - When I’m by Your Side
Raydio - Jack and Jill
Radio Birdman - Aloha Steve and Danno
Louis Armstrong & His Orchestra - Cain and Abel
Veda Hille, Niall McNeil & Marcus Youssef - I Love You So Love Me
Richard Wagner - Prelude from Tristan und Isolde
The Besties B-list Playlist:
Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson - Adam and Eve
We may as well start at the beginning.
The Reflections - (Just Like) Romeo and Juliet
Except for no Montagues or Capulets. Or the deadly duels. Or all that stuff with potions and poisons.
Catatonia - Mulder and Scully
How do you rhyme “worry” with “Scully”? Works perfectly with a Swansea accent.
The Damned - Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde
Non-charting single from their more goth-like fourth LP.
Belle and Sebastian - Marx and Engels
The girl from Wallasey wants to be left alone with Karl and Friedrich. Who else but Belle and Sebastian?
The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko
For some years, I heard the “eating chocolate cake in a bag” line as “eating Jaffa cakes in the bath”.
Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus and Lucy
The van Pelt siblings - respectively Charlie Brown’s closest friend and his greatest tormentor.
Mark Knopfler - Sailing to Philadelphia
The surveying exploits of astronomers Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon, by way of Thomas Pynchon.
Joe Ely & Joel Guzman - Miss Bonnie and Mr. Clyde
Some interesting alternative history, with some fine accordion courtesy of Mr Guzman.
Lead Belly - Duncan and Brady
Bartender Harry Duncan was hanged for allegedly shooting policeman James Brady. The bar’s owner reportedly confessed to the crime on his deathbed.
Azabache - Batman y el Hombre Araña
Nominator pejepeine was pulled up by his son for suggesting that DC’s Batman and Marvel’s Spiderman were a duo. But he’d already got me at nonsense lyrics, storming timbale solo and a bit of rapping.
When - Karius & Baktus
Two tooth trolls who sought to humour generations of Norwegian children into good dental hygiene. Here in Lars Pedersen’s hands, they resort to scaring the bejesus out of them instead.
Guru’s Wildcard Pick:
Tenor Saw - Lone Ranger and Tonto
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations in response to last week's topic: Two for the show: songs about famous duos and couples. The next topic will launch on Thursday at 1pm UK time.
New to comment? It is quick and easy. You just need to login to Disqus once. All is explained in About/FAQs ...
Fancy a turn behind the pumps at The Song Bar? Care to choose a playlist from songs nominated and write something about it? Then feel free to contact The Song Bar here, or try the usual email address. Also please follow us social media: Song Bar Twitter, Song Bar Facebook. Song Bar YouTube, and Song Bar Instagram. Please subscribe, follow and share.
Song Bar is non-profit and is simply about sharing great music. We don’t do clickbait or advertisements. Please make any donation to help keep the Bar running: