By Uncleben
A Russian spy handler arrives in a small Welsh town to make contact with one of his foreign agents. He asks a young lad at the railway station where he can find Dai Jones. The boy tells him there’s a Dai Jones just a few houses down, who a few moments later opens the door to hear a complete stranger uttering the secret code: “The cows in the valleys are ready for milking”. The man is bemused for a moment, but it then clicks. “Oh, it’ll be Jones the Spy you’re after.”
“See those houses over there? I built them all. But do they call me John the builder? See those railway lines over there? I laid them all, but do they call me John the engineer? See that harbour over there? That’s my work too, but do they call me John the harbourmaker? They do not. And I shagged just one lousy sheep …”
Good, I’m glad I’ve got those out of the way. We can now proceed to the music.
Bobby Rush – Nickname
When I took on this shift, I can’t say I’d gambled on the volume of resulting nominations – upwards of 600. It turns out, though, as Bobby Rush presciently observes in our rather funky loosener-upper, that everyone has a nickname. (My daughter, who helped me pick the A-list – thanks, Murg – calls me Bean.) So I guess it’s no surprise there are so many damn songs about them. Here are just a few.
Marianne Faithfull – The Gypsy Faerie Queen
Will Shakespeare was fond of a nickname. In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, that shrewd and knavish sprite Robin Goodfellow, also known as Puck and Hobgoblin, is accosted by a fairy. Faithfull approaches the theme from Puck’s perspective, as he follows the faerie queen through a twilight world perched between here and our imaginations.
Janelle Monáe – Django Jane
Monáe also enjoys playing with alter egos. Here she initially takes on the alias of Alice in Wondaland (the Atlanta studio where some of 2018’s Dirty Computer was recorded), before launching out on a counter-attack against sexual and racial oppression, turning Jane Doe into Jane Bond and Sambo into Django.
Memphis Slim – Grinderman Blues
I doubt Monáe would have much truck with the sexual politics of Memphis Slim (real name John Len Chatman). Slim doesn’t leave much to the imagination as he explains the reason for this particular nickname. But it’s sure how I like my blues piano to sound. The Grinder Man had some stiff competition this week from the likes of Clarence Carter’s Back Door Santa and Billy Ward & the Dominoes’ Sixty Minute Man.
Carl Malcolm – Miss Wire Waist
A fair few of this week’s nominations involved affectionate terms for the objects of their singers’ amorous intentions. From the Chordettes’ Lollipop to the Supremes’ Floy Joy to Manfred Mann’s Flamingo Girl. For reasons best known to himself, Carl Malcolm settled on this unlikely sobriquet to woo his beloved. “Can I take you on a short walk? I want to give you a small talk” has never worked for me as a chat-up line, but then again I’ve never had the benefit of a Clive Chin production to back me up.
Simon and Garfunkel – Baby Driver
His daddy was the family bassman, his mamma was an engineer (Peggy Seeger would have approved), and they call him the Baby Driver. A sprightly number from which director Edgar Wright took the name but not the plot of his 2017 movie. Turns out, by the way, the real stimulus for the film was Wright’s repeated listens to an album by the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion.
The Association – Windy
Maybe not the first nickname you’d choose for yourself, but it seems to work well for the subject of this breezy pop classic, tripping down the streets of the city and smiling at everyone she sees. Come on, though, lad – put a bit more gusto into that recorder solo.
Sons of the Pioneers – Ragtime Cowboy Joe
One of my favourite finds of the week. In which we learn that this high-faluting, scooting, shooting cowboy acquired his name by singing ragtime music to his cattle. Bless.
Todd Rundgren – Wolfman Jack
It was a toss-up between this and The Guess Who’s ‘Clap for the Wolfman’, both terrific tributes to American disc jockey Robert Weston Smith, who liked the occasional shot of whiskey to keep his voice suitably gravelly on air. His name was inspired partly by Howlin’ Wolf and partly by the musician responsible for the piece that concludes this A-list.
Otis Redding – Mr. Pitiful
Another radio DJ, Moohah Williams, gave Redding this nickname because of his tendency to make himself sound so pitiful when singing ballads. Guitarist Steve Cropper thought this would make a great name for a song. Otis agreed – and it didn’t take long for them to crank out this classic soul stomper.
Ray Barretto – Hard Hands
I could have picked dozens of songs about musicians’ own nicknames – from Shuggie to Tubby, Big Bopper to Big Mama, Bootsy to Dizzy. I’ve let these three form the A-list finale for no particular reason other than I adore each one. The percussionist Baretto was a long-time member of the Fania All-Stars and you can hear for yourself how he earned his sobriquet, given him by a fan.
Gil Scott-Heron – Lady Day and John Coltrane
Lady Day is of course Billie Holiday, and this glorious song carries forward our motivation theme from last week. If you’re ever feeling kind of down and out, you could call on Lady Day, you could call on John Coltrane, ’cause they’ll wash your troubles away.
Moondog and the London Saxophonic – Bird’s Lament
No one really knows how Charlie Parker got the nickname ‘Bird’, originally ‘Yardbird’. One story says that as a youngster he was always found in the yard outside clubs playing his sax. Another that his cousin couldn’t pronounce ‘Charlie’ and called him ‘Yartie’ which morphed into ‘Yardie’. And another that, when a friend ran over a chicken, Parker told him to go back so they could pick up the ‘yardbird’ and cook it for dinner. This was Moondog’s sparse, magical elegy to the great man.
The Alter Ego A-List Playlist
Bobby Rush – Nickname
Marianne Faithfull – The Gypsy Faerie Queen
Janelle Monáe – Django Jane
Memphis Slim – Grinderman Blues
Carl Malcolm – Miss Wire Waist
Simon and Garfunkel – Baby Driver
The Association – Windy
Sons of the Pioneers – Ragtime Cowboy Joe
Todd Rundgren – Wolfman Jack
Otis Redding – Mr Pitiful
Ray Barretto – Hard Hands
Gil Scott-Heron – Lady Day & John Coltrane
Moondog – Bird’s Lament
The Byname B-List Playlist:
Edward Elgar – Nimrod
Each of the Enigma Variations is a musical sketch of one of Elgar’s friends, identified only by a cryptic name.
Ramblin’ Jack Elliott – Railroad Bill
Terrific version of a 19th century blues ballad thought to be about an outlaw called Morris Slater who acquired his name by robbing freight trains.
Peter Blegvad – King Strut
From foster child to philanthropist and connoisseur, the story of His Majesty Dwight Strut.
Steeleye Span – Black Jack Davy
When a rich lady runs off with a gypsy man, you can’t just call him Davy.
Steve Miller Band – The Joker
Space cowboy? Gangster of love? Maurice??
Pixies – Catfish Kate
Black Jack Hooligan’s story of Kate, who comes out worse in a fight with a catfish.
Ry Cooder – Speedo
Variously called Moe, Joe and Speedo, but his real name is Mr Earl. The fine Cadillacs original was also nominated.
Geoffrey Oi!Cott – I Was Monty’s Double
Tribute to the England cricketer Mudhsuden ‘Monty’ Panesar, also known affectionately to fans as ‘The Beard to Be Feared’ and ‘The Sikh of Tweak’.
Jake Thackray – Greasy Joan (One Eyed Isaac)
A grisly tale of a double murder down at Dirty Dicks.
Royal Trux – Granny Grunt
Scuzzy sounds and scuzzy lyrics from what was meant to be Jennifer and Neil’s major label breakthrough album. Ho hum.
First Choice – Doctor Love
He’s got the potion and emotion, when I’m feeling low.
MF Doom – Doomsday
MF raps about his pseudonym over samples of Sade and Boogie Down Productions.
Bohannon – Me and the Gang
And so as the music comes to an end, but before we go, Hamilton Bohannon and his gang decide for no apparent reason to tell us their nicknames.
Guru’s Wildcard Pick:
Karen Dalton – Katie Cruel
“When I first came to town, they called me the roving jewel. Now they’ve changed their tune, call me Katie Cruel”.
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations from last week's topic: You can call me Alias: songs about nicknames and pseudonyms. The next topic will launch on Thursday at 1pm UK time.
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